Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Don't hit my sister!

So, as I am sitting here doing my homework, I noticed that my room was kind of stinky. ha ha. Bedrooms can start to do that if you are not careful. Anyway! So, I opened my window and because it is a beautiful day, I have noticed that the children in my neighbourhood are taking full advantage of the sun, unlike me who is at my desk. I could hear the children playing from my window, in fact I still can. It is a delightful sound. I thought it was so cute...I heard one boy yell "HEY! Don't hit my sister!" I thought that was just so precious. If only we could be more like children and quick to defend each other from harm instead of worrying what another will think about us. I was bullied in junior high, and I remember wishing that someone, be it a teacher or a student, would have said. "Hey! leave her alone. She does not deserve that." I hope that little boy continues to protect his little sister. It feels good to know that your Dad or brothers or husband will stand up for you when there is a threat...be it physical or emotional!

It also got me thinking about how much I love the sound of children, not just of them being happy but of them being sad and angry too. Emotions in children are an opportunity to teach. I want to teach my future children what it is they are feeling and how to express them appropriately. I firmly believe that there is no such thing as a negative emotion. However, we need to learn how to identify them, feel them at the right moments and then express them appropriately. These are skills that we can teach our children! So, if my daughter is angry and hits. I can help her acknowledge that she is angry, determine if she is justified in feeling angry in that situation, teach her that hitting is not an appropriate response even if it was an appropriate time to feel anger and then help her come up with other ways to communicate how she is feeling that will not hurt another.

I think we tend to think that pain either physical or emotional are bad, but I think they are great! I am so grateful for them! Pain is an indicator that something is not functioning well. So, I get a headache...usually it is a reminder to me that I have not been drinking water like I should. When I feel lonely, perhaps I am not reaching out to others as much as I should. When I am angry, perhaps there is some inner healing that needs to take place. The answer is not always to put a bandaid on it or a pain killer to mask the pain. I try to find the source of the pain, and learn to prevent future pain. Pain helps me grow, and when I endure it well I feel good about myself. I can do hard things. I like being in tune with myself. Addictions often start from attempts to distract yourself from pain, whether that be a behavior or a chemical. Perhaps if we did not see pain as such a bad thing and learned how to endure it we would have such a strong instinct to flee from it.

I think that it is also important that we are patient with another's pain. We are all different. For example, someone kicking me in the crotch would not hurt me nearly as bad as it would hurt my brothers. We are different across genders and also within our own gender and I think that we must be patient and understanding with each other. Imagine me disregard by bother when he gets hit in as Kung Foo Panda would say "his tenders" and think he is a wuss and a complainer because it doesn't hurt me! When someone says it hurts, it hurts. We don't need to understand in order to be compassionate.

It makes me think about my eating issues. People sometimes like to say. "just eat!" It is so simple! or...just eat healthy foods! It is so simple!! When they say that, I think. "Great! I am so happy that it is simple for you. You can remain a positive example for me. I hope to one day have it simple, but right now it is not. Right now? I hurt. Right now? I am lost. Right now I am confused and overwhelmed and it would help me a lot to just know that you care and tell me that I will make it if I just keep trying." Feel that pain! Don't run away from it by eating or hurting yourself or another. It will not take away the pain, and most times it will just give you more! I pray for all of you who are in pain and I hope that through this blog you will learn to heal the pain you already have and change your life and thoughts so that you can eliminate some unnecessary pain in your life that you have by not feeling good enough in your body. No one is perfect, but we are all good enough for constant and unconditional love.

Well that is all for today! Thanks for reading. I am writing it for you.

I love you Daddy!

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