One of my favourite quotes is by Elder Bendar. He says,
"Most of us know that when we do wrong things, we need help to overcome the effects of sin in our lives. The Savior has paid the price and made it possible for us to become clean through His redeeming power. Most of us clearly understand that the Atonement is for sinners. I am not so sure, however, that we know and understand that the Atonement is also for saints—for good men and women who are obedient, worthy, and conscientious and who are striving to become better and serve more faithfully. We may mistakenly believe we must make the journey from good to better and become a saint all by ourselves, through sheer grit, willpower, and discipline, and with our obviously limited capacities."
... he continues...
And it is eternally important for all of us to recognize that both of these essential elements of the journey of mortality—both putting off the natural man and becoming a saint, both overcoming bad and becoming good—are accomplished through the power of the Atonement. Individual willpower, personal determination and motivation, effective planning and goal setting are necessary but ultimately insufficient for us to triumphantly complete this mortal journey. Truly, we must come to rely upon “the merits, and mercy, and grace of the Holy Messiah”
I have come to a point in my life where I am about to start a family. I will soon be not just responsible for myself but for others. Sometimes my family has told me that I am "all over the place". I can see why they say that because it is true. I have lived all over the place, I have dated many boys, I have changed my careers many times, I and I have changed my mind many times in relation to what it means to be healthy and happy. It has been hurtful for people to say that to me in a mean way, but I understand where they are coming from. I told my mom this morning that sometimes I feel like the girl that cried wolf. I get so excited about something and then next month I want something different. She assured me that it was ok because I just take stepping stones. She said that all people are like that, however I am just a lot more vocal about it. I think I agree with her.
Part of why I have been "all over the place" is because I like to explore. I like to know and understand things for myself. I like to see lots of different perspectives before I create my own opinions. I posted the quote from Elder Bednars talk that he gave at BYU (2001 The Atonement and the Journey of Mortality) because I am taking his counsel to heart.
There are aspects to my life that I have been frustrated with and so I have been trying to change them. Elder Bednar suggest that instead of praying to God to change our circumstances we pray for strength to change our circumstances.
We work hard and rely on His grace to make it possible.
I am taking this to heart and trying to focus on all of the positive in this life. This does not mean that I do not see the negative and that I will not continue to try to make the world a better place, but I do it out of love, not out of anger.
I love you Daddy!