Monday, April 23, 2012

Girls DON'T just want to have FUN

I have not wrote in a while, because I have been in some deep self reflection.  Most people seem to appreciate me for who I am. Most people see that I am not trying to just complain and be negative when I talk about these issues, but that is not everyone. It made me think about myself and my motives for what I do.

Sometimes I write because I am angry, sometimes because I am sad, sometimes because I want to create awareness and new perspectives. Sometimes I write because it helps me make sense of my own thoughts. Sometimes I write because I am confused myself. Sometimes I write to share my joys and my love for God.  Basically, I don't see myself as a complainer. I see myself as a passionate person. The key is for me not stop seeing the things that are wrong in our world, but to find joy living in our world for the reasons that make it so wonderful. There is so much about this world that I love.

I love life. I really do. My foundation of love for life is for the the things that bring me joy. There is so much of that.

My family brings me joy. My new family that Christopher and I will create brings me joy. My friends bring me joy. God's creations bring me joy...the wind, the trees, the clouds, the mountains, the ocean, the animals. I just love it all. When I see these things it reminds me of how much God loves me. He gave us a great earth to live on and great people to share it with. We should be grateful.

Because I love this so much, it brings me pain to see us abusing it and being super wasteful and ungrateful. It hurts me to see so much inequality, people thinking they are better than others because of physical appearance or education. Or just trying to be "better" by working towards the world's standards of success and beauty. When I have been sucked into this pull, I feel like a mouse running on a wheel. I always feel so sad for those mice because they are working so hard, and never really getting anywhere.  You can work so hard to please the world, but it is never good enough. The world is never satisfied.

I talked to my mom this morning and she said that she knows a lady who got a tummy she wants a boob job and then who knows after that...perhaps she will want lip injections or whatever... and WHY??

After talking to her about this, we decided that Humans want two things. To be loved and to be happy. We really all just want to be happy and feel loved. This is why God is so important. When you know that He loves you and you gain your self worth from what He thinks of you then it does not matter what other people think.

I am working on that. I still can be tempted to seek the admiration of others for my body or my clothes, but lets be real... no one likes me for my clothes. Seriously. None of that really matters. The more in style you are, the less money you have and the more ridiculous you will look in 10 years when you look back at pictures.  People may admire you now, but they will soon by laughing at you.

Anyway, thanks for reading. Those are my thoughts for today.

I love you Daddy!

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