As I have said, I have always been very active. There has literally never been a time in my life that I was not active. Except for the month after my marathon when I could barely walk. Ya, then I did not do much physical activity. But, that was only a month.
When I gained lots of weight in high school, I still played basketball and volleyball. I sometimes wonder what my coaches thought as I gained weight, but I appreciate that they never pressured me to lose weight. So, my first year after high school was rough. I worked in a hair salon that had tons of food in the back room and they said that we could help ourself. Bad idea. When I did not have a client, we would sit in the back room and eat. Eventually, I realized that I needed to eat more nutritiously, but it took a while for me to actually apply what I knew. So, I started eating healthier. I was on no diet, I just knew what I wanted and I worked hard for it. The funny thing is that every time people have seen that I have lost weight, I get the question. Oh did you start working out??? I am all... mmmm no... I mean... I have always been active. So, the purpose of this post is to set something straight.
Skinny does not mean active and fat does not mean lazy. The media has attached a certain image to "healthy" and to quite honest most of the people that are our "health role models" are not healthy.
Models? Not all, but a lot of them are starving themselves and/or exercising compulsively. This is NOT healthy. Some eat only a few crackers a day. Crystal Renn, a plus sized model that was once a regular model, wrote a book called "hungry". I have not read it, but I have watched some videos about her and she says that she used to exercise 8 hours a day. She was told that she needed to lost 10 inches on her waist if she wanted to make it into Vogue. So, that is what she did. She started eating again when one day she was having trouble walking because she was so thin. Jeremy Gillizter is also a big inspiration for me. Not because I want to be like him, but because I don't want to be like him. Jeremy died in 2010. So sad. HERE is a video made before he died.
Fitness models? Once again, I cannot speak for all, but many are also obsessed with themselves. They spend hours a day in the gym and don't eat a very balanced diet. So, I taught a nutrition lesson at a high school last night. We taught the students how to eat a healthy. We taught them that a balance breakfast has an energy food (grain), a protection food(fruit or vegetable), and a growth food(protein). Fitness models usually eat a very low carb diet and very high protein. I am not a dietician, but I do know that this is not very balanced.
So, here is my opinion. I cannot say that I am free yet of wanting to look like these girls. It is so hard for me not to get sucked in to the obsession. However, I do know that it is ridiculous that we are trying to look like boys. Why can't we look like girls? Why can't we be soft and round? Why must we look so angular with either our bones or our chiseled muscles? I find it fascinating to study art and see what different times in the world's history saw as a beautiful woman.
Oh, AND. I was talking to my sister the other day about Adele. She mentioned that Adele was beautiful even in her big size. I agree. I am happy to see a beautiful woman who is not super thin and wearing almost nothing. HERE is a video from 60 minutes where she talks about her appearance. Truly inspiring.
When I was in makeup school on the first day of class we had to take off our makeup so that we could start working on each other. My partner started crying and got super panicked. I felt so awkward. I felt like I was some horrible criminal who was pealing away her face to reveal her true ugly self which she worked so hard to hide. It was a very sad and defining moment for me. Oh, and she was one of the envied girls. This girl was gorgeous and she carried herself like she was super confident. Well, she was super confident. She was confident in her adorned body, not so much in what was underneath it all. I don't want to be like that. I don't think anyone does.
I like to exercise, but not too much. I love finding food that tastes good and is low in fat, sugar and salt. Healthy, tasty recipes are like finding a sweet deal at a garage sale! They feel personal, and you cherish every bite! :) I want to be moderate. Not extreme. Extreme makes me selfish. I get attention, but not the kind that I truly want deep down. I want God's approval, and that is all that matters.
I love you Daddy!